Birdnesting Divorce

Family Law Solicitor Jessica Barnett discusses a new trend amongst divorcing couples called ‘birdnesting’ in her latest blog…

What is Birdnesting?

Birdnesting is a way of living on separation which prioritises any child(ren) of the family remaining in the former family home to ensure as little disruption to them and their day to day life as possible.

The idea is that the child stays in the family home and that the parents take turns in staying there with them rather than the child moving from parent to parent in a shared care arrangement. This means that the parents would need a base or bases away from the family home to stay in whilst they are not doing the hands-on parenting at the home with the child(ren).

This is something which may make practical sense whilst decisions are made in relation to the financial aspects of divorce. It may also now feature longer lasting arrangements. This may be as a result of the 20-week period between the issue of divorce proceedings and a party being able to apply for the conditional divorce order and any financial order in the divorce.

If you are thinking about an arrangement like this, it is clear that the ground rules need to be firm to avoid disagreement between parents. This will need to include thought on timings for stays, arrangements for time with new partners, whether all rooms should remain accessible to both parents, the arrangements for paying bills, stocking the fridge… etc.

What are the Positives of Birdnesting ?:

Little practical disruption for the child, they can be cared for in the home they are used to by both parents.
More time to make final decisions around the former family home and what will happen to it on separation. This gives the opportunity for full thought and consideration of those arrangements.
Provide space for a family to come to a natural, organic arrangement around co-parenting when separated. This may be impacted by work commitments and the child’s own routine.
Nesting can work well for parents with amicable relationships following separation.

What are the Negatives to Birdnesting?:

It can create a false situation for a child and prevent them from coming to a clear understanding that the separation has happened and is final.
It can create a limbo type feeling for parents.
It may cause delays in resolving the divorce and financial matters.
This arrangement is highly unlikely to work and may be unsafe where there has been animosity or abuse in the relationship.
Parties need to be able to trust one another. Nesting is highly likely to fail without trust.
You will need to have the resources to establish an ‘off-duty’ space or spaces either with family or in a separate, smaller property.

Jessica Barnett Family Law Solicitor