What Is The SPIP And How Does It Help?

Let’s start by saying that the SPIP is not intended to teach lessons or training. The SPIP can be vital in guiding you and your child(ren) through a relationship breakdown (whether a separation or divorce). You may have been ordered by the court or have volunteered to take part. The aim is to provide parents with support and useful knowledge that will help to put the needs of the child(ren) first through what is a very difficult time. It has a particular emphasis on skills and information on how to navigate through conflict with a partner in order to create a positive parental relationship.

What Does The SPIP Involve?

It takes place by way of sessions which are usually about 4 hours long and are run all around the country on behalf of CAFCASS. Generally, you don’t have to pay to participate especially if it is ordered by the court. It is also important to note that you won’t have to attend the same session as your ex-partner. Not only does this avoid conflict but more importantly, it means that you can work on your own understanding rather than focussing on someone else.

The Programme usually has a mix of activities including, listening to talks, written tasks, watching a DVD, and group discussions (but only if you are comfortable with this).

There are four main areas of focus; -

  • How to keep the best interests of your child(ren) in mind
  • The emotional impact of separation on your child(ren)
  • What the child(ren) need and what to do after identifying negative emotions in your child(ren)
  • How to communicate better as parents

It’s easy to believe you are doing what is best for your child(ren) without really knowing the consequences of your actions. By way of example, you may tell your child(ren) things that are not positive about the other parent because you think you are protecting them. Such negative opinions can often lead to your child(ren) having their own personal struggle, unsure of who to believe or who to be angry at which can impact upon their own ability to form relationships in the long term. The guidance offered by the programme can offer real insight to allow you to keep the best interests of your child(ren) at the forefront of your mind.

A relationship breakdown can be a confusing and often chaotic time with much focus on the conflict between you and your ex-partner as well as the emotions that you are experiencing. But this can often leave the feelings of your child(ren) behind. Young child(ren) in particular can find it hard to identify their own complex emotions so by shedding light on these you can begin to understand the impact of your separation or divorce.

Learning how to support your child(ren) can be invaluable. The SPIP provides a real-life guide on how to support your child(ren).  A DVD made by young people that follows a family over a 6 month period is shown. It reminds you that you are not alone on this journey and others are going through exactly the same struggles.

There is an old saying that communication is key, and as parents, learning to communicate positively can make a real difference to you and your child(ren). There are clearly cases where communication is not possible but the SPIP uses various scenarios from different viewpoints and gives practical ways to reduce stress.

Finally, just being with others who are going through similar things can bring comfort and remind you that you are not alone, no matter how much you feel it. You may also feel able to share your own emotions and this in itself can do a world of good for your psychological wellbeing and consequently have a positive impact on the situation with your ex-partner and child(ren).

So, go in with an open mind and you may find you learn more than you thought you would.