Whilst the Christmas season comes with joy and festivities, for a lot of separated and blended families, we understand that this can be tainted with the stress of organising when the children will spend time with each parent.
What Time Should The Children Spend With Each Parent?
There is no magic answer for this question. This will be based on your specific family dynamics and may need to be factor in logistical considerations to include distance, work commitments and indeed other siblings.
Whilst there is no ‘one size fits all’ scenario, here are some tips to help with the plans:
1. Try and be child-focussed in your decision-making. Often parents both want a slice of Christmas day with the children but is a handover during Christmas day really what’s best for your children? Or, is spending a full day with each parent, a lot more practical and allow your children to enjoy a full day with each parent? Similarly, if the other parent’s family celebrate all together on Boxing Day for example, maybe it would be nice for the children to be part of this too.
2. Try not to use emotive language with the other parent when making arrangements. Whilst this can be tricky, it will allow for more effective decision-making and will make future decisions easier to communicate.
3. Try to make clear arrangements with the other parent, well in advance of the season, so that you are all clear of what’s happening, to reduce stress and last-minute difficulties nearer the time.
4. Do not ask the children to decide. Try to avoid putting the children in a position where they feel they are choosing between their parents. This is unfair and can cause them a lot of guilt and stress.
5. Think about the age of your children and make age-appropriate decisions. For example, if you and the other parent live far apart and the children are young, you may wish to think about travel time. Similarly, if you have older children, ensure they have enough time to get ready in the morning so that they are not rushed early in the morning to the other parent.
6. Lastly, there will be other Christmases. If one parent wants Christmas day this year, perhaps it’s reasonable to agree, and for you to spend Christmas day with the children next year.
Ultimately, the children will not remember whether it was 25th December they spent with you, but the time they enjoyed with you whichever date it’s celebrated.
If you can’t sort the arrangements out you can consult one of our experienced team who can advise you about ways you can resolve the issues.
Next Steps...
Mediation is an option but is not a quick fix. Both parents have to engage in the process. We do offer an independent mediation service at Timms.
If you can’t resolve your difficulties, court proceedings are a last resort. It is also worth remembering that due to the huge pressures on the Court service at the moment, it can take a considerable amount time for a Court to make their decision.
For further information, contact us on freephone 0800 011 6666 or email us at legal@timms-law.com.
