Estranged Family Members: Finding Support

 

In her latest Timms Blog, Wills and Probate Solicitor Anna-Louise Bradley discusss “Estranged Family Members: Finding Support”…

What support is available if you are estranged from your family or have no family network?

Talking to a client to take their instructions, especially in relation to reviewing or making a Will, includes asking them to tell me about themselves.

As well as the standard basic information such as a full name, date of birth, address, occupation, and whether there is a current Will etc; I also ask clients about the following:

• Their family and friends (close and estranged), including:
  • Spouse or partner, children/step children, grandchildren, parents, siblings and any nieces and nephews
• Financial Circumstances (current and potential future changes) such as:
  • Property and assets, income and debts, pensions, savings and any future inheritance.

Some clients are able to discuss their personal situation openly and easily. Others find it much more difficult for various reasons.

When I explain to a client why I am asking and how it may help me to draft their Will appropriately, clients feel reassured that it is not my nosiness(!) but part of the correct legal process is to take full instructions, ensuring they receive the best and most appropriate advice.

Am I normal?

A client may think they are ‘not normal’ in relation to their family or relationships. But in actual fact having step or half children, caring for grandchildren or caring for distant relatives is much more common than people think.  Clients may have enjoyed a long marriage of 50 years or more, may have been cohabiting for a similar period, or may have been single all their life.

Whatever the circumstances are, every one of us is different. Over the years that I have been advising and helping clients, I have come across a really wide range of relationship dynamics.

What if there are no immediate family?

If a client explains that they have either no immediate family or contact with a family member; I will ask them for what reason.

If they feel they should have been included as a beneficiary in their Will, an estranged dependant person/family member or friend  may come forward after a death to make a claim against the estate under the Inheritance Provision for Family and Dependants Act 1975.

To alleviate concerns around this area there are steps that I can discuss with the client. Such as a separate Memorandum to show at the time of making the Will, they considered such people to be estranged. My client is then able to give an explanation as to why a person has not been included.

If a client has no adult relative or friend they wish to appoint as an executor; the option to have Timms Solicitors as their appointed professional executor can be discussed with them.

A client may also find it helpful for their chosen executor to have Timms appointed alongside them if the estate is complex, taxable or includes business assets or agricultural land.

What about capacity issues?

Often a client will then ask what would happen if they have mental capacity problems, such as dementia, rendering them unable to make decisions themselves.

I explain that preparing a Lasting Power of Attorney legal document is the best method of protection and assistance for this potential future scenario.  If there is no adult whom they trust that could be appointed as their attorney, Timms could act as their professional attorney if they wish.

I remember a client who only had a son under 18 years of age. No partner or extended close family and she also had epilepsy and additional medical conditions.  These were set out on her LPA document as instructions and preferences. Including her chosen view on life sustaining treatment for her attorneys – whom she chose to have as the solicitor partners of the firm.

A better understanding…

Understanding a client’s personal family situation helps me to offer the right tailored advice.  Including advice on Inheritance Tax planning, and lifetime gifting. I am also able to advise clients about other organisations that they could seek help from.

For example, Stand Alone is an organisation that supports adults who are estranged from their family, or from a key family member. Their primary objective is to breakdown the stigma around estrangement and support estranged people in their daily lives.

The Stand Alone website offers an array of helpful information, including:

• Innovative Advice and Support Services
• Direct Support Services focused in London, Sheffield and Newcastle
• Support Groups (Bristol and Manchester), and a range of Therapeutic Workshops (London, Brighton and Sheffield)
• Information and Advice Guides (which can be downloaded from their website) and include
• • Family Estrangement: Advice and Information for Parents
  • Family Estrangement: Advice and Information for Adult Children
• Building Relationships with University Research Departments to improve Knowledge around family estrangement (published on their web site)
• Read ‘Hidden Voices’ Report – they are also on Facebook and Twitter
• Support for estranged Students, including financing studies and finding accommodation
• Stand Alone is a registered UK charity

Stand Alone recommends to following steps in order to manage your feelings when estranged from family:

• Regular visits to a therapist or counsellor (Relate offers Family Counselling)
• Normalise. You are not alone. There are many others who are also estranged from their family, and they may have an array of feelings such as guilt, shame and regret
• Practising meditation (Mindfulness)
• Write down your feelings and emotions
• Regular exercise
• Allow a partner or friend to communicate with the estranged family member (if appropriate)

I hope this information has been helpful. If you wish to meet to discuss either updating or making your Will or making and registering a Lasting Power of Attorney; I am happy to assist. You can call me on 01283 561531 or email me via a.bradley@timms-law.com.

 

 

Anna Bradley,

May 2022