What happens to children when a relationship breaks down?

We understand it can be a very difficult and emotional time when a relationship breaks down. Our clients usually have various questions about what will happen to their children.

Attempting to agree on where the children will live and how much time they spend with each parent is of primary importance to many separating couples.

There may be other matters which arise for example, changing the children’s school, grandparents access to the children, relocation or taking the children on holiday.

These issues are known as “child arrangements” and can be agreed amicably between parents, however, sometimes matters may become hostile and protracted.

What options are available to me?

There are various options available to parents who separate in resolving arrangements for the children and it does not always mean court proceedings are necessary. In fact, the court should be viewed as the “court of last resort” when all other dispute resolution options have been explored.

Our experts can provide advice on the options which may be available to parents depending upon their individual circumstances, these may include...

Mediation

This is where a Family Mediator will work with the parents to understand their issues and concerns and the options which may work best for the children. Mediation is a voluntary, impartial and self-determining process and the parents remain in control of the decision making for the children.

Collaborative Law

Collaborative Law differs from Mediation as each parent instructs their own collaboratively trained solicitor. Both parents and their solicitors will meet together to attempt to find a solution to the issues relating to the children in a “round the table” approach.

This approach can enable parents to find an effective and timely solution to the issues they have, and parents remain in control of determining the arrangements for their children.

Early Neutral Evaluation

An evaluator is appointed and will hear both parents concerns and issues. The evaluator will provide an evaluation of the likely outcome if the matter had proceeded in court. It allows both parents to share their respective positions fully and hear how a court would determine their case to see if a resolution can be found.

Arbitration

The Family Law Arbitration Children Scheme enables parents to submit their dispute to an arbitrator for determination. The process affords parents the opportunity to determine the terms and scope of the arbitration and resolve their issues in a quick timescale as they are not subject to the constraints of delays in the court system. It is expected that the parents will submit an Order to court reflecting the outcome of the arbitrator’s determination to have it approved and made into a final and enforceable Court Order.

Solicitor Intervention

There are times where parents feel as though there is no end in sight in resolving disputes relating to the children and solicitor intervention may be required. Some parents feel vulnerable in communicating directly with the other parent or there may be a history of domestic violence or substance abuse. We can provide parents with legal advice to enable them to make informed decisions about their children’s future.

Do I need to go to court?

Whether parents wish to work things out informally or wish to have a more formal agreement in place, the children should always remain the main focal point. Children can be feeling exposed and confused at this time and often believe they are being pulled between their parents and some wish for their voice to be heard. Fundamentally, a child’s welfare is paramount and the essential needs of security, stability and consistency for the children must be met in any arrangements made.

Arrangements can be recorded in a written agreement or a parenting agreement which records how parents will share responsibilities for the children and make decisions. These agreements are however not legally binding, and some parents seek for there to be security by way of a Court Order defining the terms of any agreement reached. Parents may submit an application for a Child Arrangements Order to court by consent, seeking the courts approval to the agreement they have reached. If approved, a Child Arrangements Order will be made in those terms.

If parents cannot reach an agreement over the arrangements for the children, or if parents have agreed arrangements however, they simply are not working, then it maybe they help in establishing a new routine which is in the children’s best interests. Court proceedings may be appropriate and necessary.

If a court determines it is important for the child’s voice to be heard, generally speaking, a court will take a child’s wishes and feelings into account from an age of around 10 or 11.  This will depend on the emotional maturity of the child and whether they have any learning difficulties or disabilities.

The court prioritises the needs of the child and will only ever make orders which are in the child’s best interests.

Making arrangements for children when a relationship breaks down can be an incredibly overwhelming task. We, at Timms, can provide parents with advice and help ease the strain at this difficult time.

Next Steps...

If you would like further information on child arrangements or any aspect of Family Law, please contact me on 01283 561531 or at a.harrison@timms-law.com.

For more information about our Family Law services, please visit our webpage here.