'Can Social Services Make Me Leave My Partner?' 'Will I have to choose between my partner and my child?' These are questions we are often asked in and before Care proceedings.
Social Services and the Court cannot force two consenting adults to end their relationship but there may be significant consequences for your family life if you continue a relationship that is considered to put your child at risk.
Michael King, the Local Government and Social Care Ombudsman stated:
“Councils have a duty to safeguard children... but they cannot insist on a parent leaving the family home without first gaining their voluntary consent.”
When Social Services are involved with a family, it is not unusual for a parent to be asked to separate, either temporarily or permanently, from the partner who they love (who may or may not be the other parent of the child). This is due to the risk that partner is believed to pose to the safety of a child.
The parent will be asked to prioritise the needs of the child and may be asked to separate from their partner, at least for a time, whilst the risk is assessed.
This can be heart breaking for the parent who loves both their child and their partner. However, if the parent does not agree to separate and the Social Worker believes the child is at risk of harm then it is likely the Social Worker will initiate Care Proceedings and ask the Court to agree the child should be removed from the parent’s care and placed with a family member or into foster care.
Once the risk assessment has been completed or factual allegations determined, the parent may be able move back into the home either because there is no longer believed to be a risk, or the risk can be safely managed. The partner may be required to undertake therapy or courses. There may be a Written Agreement or Safety Plan setting out the role the partner can play in the child’s life. Other family members may also be asked to help to keep the child safe. Each case is unique and will depend on its facts, including the nature and level of the risk and the age and circumstances of the children.
The conclusion may be that the partner poses a risk and this risk cannot be safely managed. Often the Care Proceedings and decisions about the future will turn on whether a parent can put the child’s needs first and stay away from the risky partner. It is increasingly common for the Court to request analysis of the adults’ phone records and social media accounts to analyse whether they have really ended the relationship. It may be necessary to obtain expert evidence on the parent’s ability to separate and to prioritise the child’s safety, possibly from a psychologist.
What happens if the partner is found to be a risk to the child?
Within care proceedings, when one parent is found to be a substantial risk there are usually three options for the Court:
1) The parent and partner stay together and look after the child together with extra provisions in place to keep the child safe.
2) The couple remain living together but the child is removed from their care.
3) The parent separates from the risky partner and the child lives with the parent as a sole carer. If the risky partner is also the child’s parent, there will need to be provision for that parent’s contact with the child, probably by limited and supervised contact.
None of these options are ideal. The first option is unlikely to be ordered by the Court unless the risk is very low, or both the parent and partner have already had a programme of therapeutic support or other training to ameliorate the risk.
Is it realistic to expect parents to end their romantic relationship?
The third option is not an unusual situation. It is common for professionals as well as the Judge, to suggest that a parent should be able to end a relationship for the sake of their child. The Court’s paramount consideration is the welfare of the child (Children Act 1989 Section 1(1)).
It is easy to forget that these two people may love one another and that love is real and powerful and painful. There may also be elements of control. The adults may be married. How realistic is it to ask two people who are in love to be apart for the sake of a child when neither of them really wants the relationship to end?
Of the three options above, the third is usually less harmful to the child than the second option as the child can stay with their parent. It is probably also the better option for the parent who would otherwise be unable to live with and care for their child. We should not under-estimate how hard it may be -perhaps the hardest thing a parent will have to do in their entire life.
This is why quite often it doesn’t work out. The adults may not be able to stay apart. The risky partner may pressurise the parent to continue the relationship, probably in secret.
Our advice to a parent in this situation is that they should be realistic and truthful. They may need support, from family/friends and possibly professional support, to help them to take this step.
If they cannot end the relationship, it is better to admit this. If they continue the relationship in secret the truth will almost certainly come out and their prospect of the child remaining in their care will be much less.
Next Steps...
If you need advice on this or any family matter, please contact one of our team on freephone 0800 011 6666 or visit the family law section of our website.
